Maybe it’s all a mid-life crisis November 20, 2006Posted by Woody in Uncategorized.
So why did I quit smoking and drinking. The reasoning and motivation escapes me. Five months ago I couldn’t run across my back yard without being winded. I enjoyed my pack a day habit and the occasional cigar at the shop with the boys. The next two weeks my training tapers off and I begin to gather strength for the marathon. Yet there is a part of me that is ready to walk away from it, stop by the convenient store for a pack of smokes and go back to my old ways. This week my long run is “only” 9 miles. I never imagined that I would look at this week’s training and say to myself ‘piece of cake, its only 9 miles’. Even when I was young I wouldn’t fathom running 9 miles, now it is ‘easy’. Is it all for moot? Does it really matter and is it going to impact my life in some dramatic way that I will walk (or crawl) away from that finish line with something different in me or my outlook on life that this will all be worth it? I can’t say that I know the answer to that question. I was asked last week what my goal was. I looked that man square in the eye and told him it was to finish. period. I’m having enough difficulty getting to the starting line let alone making it to the finish. I have several mental techniques I need to review in the next few weeks that may very well make the difference in my finishing the marathon. After all, at the end of eighteen I walked away excited to finish, exhausted, and sore. Very sore. and I still have 8.2 more to go. I think the mental aspect of this training is the only thing that will get me through the run. I heard someone say once that running is an individual sport. You can run with a friend but when it comes down to it, training, racing, or for fun, it is you and the pavement and no one else really gives a shit that your there doing it. so why do it? its been an interesting year of experiences and I am scheduled to finish it with a marathon.
Still, in all this, I question why I am doing this. Am I experiencing some sort of mid-life crisis? Carl Jung wrote about the ‘natural process of midlife transition’, accommodation and the preference tug-o-war, climb a mountain and buy a sports car or a Harley. Run a marathon. So where am I going in this and what is next? I am sure if he was still around Carl Jung would love to pick my brain on this one. Maybe give a frontal lobotomy while he’s at it.
Thoroughly confused, fuck support I need a smoke.