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Maybe it’s all a mid-life crisis November 20, 2006

Posted by Woody in Uncategorized.
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So why did I quit smoking and drinking. The reasoning and motivation escapes me. Five months ago I couldn’t run across my back yard without being winded. I enjoyed my pack a day habit and the occasional cigar at the shop with the boys. The next two weeks my training tapers off and I begin to gather strength for the marathon. Yet there is a part of me that is ready to walk away from it, stop by the convenient store for a pack of smokes and go back to my old ways. This week my long run is “only” 9 miles. I never imagined that I would look at this week’s training and say to myself ‘piece of cake, its only 9 miles’. Even when I was young I wouldn’t fathom running 9 miles, now it is ‘easy’. Is it all for moot? Does it really matter and is it going to impact my life in some dramatic way that I will walk (or crawl) away from that finish line with something different in me or my outlook on life that this will all be worth it? I can’t say that I know the answer to that question. I was asked last week what my goal was. I looked that man square in the eye and told him it was to finish. period. I’m having enough difficulty getting to the starting line let alone making it to the finish.  I have several mental techniques I need to review in the next few weeks that may very well make the difference in my finishing the marathon. After all, at the end of eighteen I walked away excited to finish, exhausted, and sore. Very sore. and I still have 8.2 more to go. I think the mental aspect of this training is the only thing that will get me through the run. I heard someone say once that running is an individual sport. You can run with a friend but when it comes down to it, training, racing, or for fun, it is you and the pavement and no one else really gives a shit that your there doing it. so why do it? its been an interesting year of experiences and I am scheduled to finish it with a marathon. 

Still, in all this, I question why I am doing this. Am I experiencing some sort of mid-life crisis? Carl Jung wrote about the ‘natural process of midlife transition’, accommodation and the preference tug-o-war, climb a mountain and buy a sports car or a Harley. Run a marathon. So where am I going in this and what is next? I am sure if he was still around Carl Jung would love to pick my brain on this one. Maybe give a frontal lobotomy while he’s at it. 

Thoroughly confused, fuck support I need a smoke. 

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Comments»

1. Pez - November 21, 2006

If nothing else, let it be a snub to the face of our false sense of immortality.

Your running, that is to say, your initiative in making someday – today, is a huge step towards control over your health and ultimately your life. Sure there’s always the proverbial bus just waiting in the wings to run us down, but all uncontrollable forms of death cliche’s aside, you’ve given yourself and your family one of the greatest gifts possible. The gift of doing what you can to make sure you are around as long as you can be. The gift of being a selfless example. The gift of realization. The realization, BEFORE it’s too late, that we really do need to take care of our health, not only for ourselves but for our loved ones as well.

Never has this lesson been made more blatantly obvious to me than it has been with the loss of my only parent – my mother, only months ago. And yet even with this great loss in my life, a loss that could have possibly been quite easily prevented had she only taken better care, I still sit nightly staring at our elliptical thinking to myself, “man.. I ought’a start using that thing.”

So don’t sell your achievement short in any way. Wether you see it or not, to do what most are not willing to do, even when they absolutely know it’s in their best interest, is nothing short of heroic.

Not to mention the fact that being able to one day take my shirt off again at the pool without feeling the shame of the town whore seems about as distant as winning a guided tour through Willy Wonka’s Chocolate factory.

mmmm… chocolate 😉


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