Mnemonics: Your Dear, Dear Friend November 1, 2006Posted by Woody in Uncategorized.
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Giving a pal his dog crap back November 1, 2006Posted by Woody in Uncategorized.
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I had to share this video today. We have all come across this guy before!
Tecate Halloween November 1, 2006Posted by Woody in Uncategorized.
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What I thought was a pretty typical Halloween, little girls dresses as cowgirls, princesses and witches. Little boys as vampires, demons and superheros. As usual as the evening grows later the young ones go inside and the older (I shouldn’t be out trick-or-treating) kids come out. Usually during this time I get greedy with the candy and only give them one piece. I give the young ones two and tell them how wonderful they look. The older kids, one, nice job on the make up and ripped jeans, what are you this year, “hit by a car”, “attacked by a werewolf”. Although I did that as I got to the age of “shouldn’t be trick-or-treating” one year I was “mugged”. Ok so I am getting off topic a bit and need to get back on track. The point is that it was getting later in the evening, I am hording the candy, and getting ready to turn off the lights. The doorbell rings and there are three cute little children out past their bedtime. Hearing the exhaustion of a long night in their voices as they say “trick-or-treat”, I opt for the treat since I am sure they have no energy for the trick. I had each of them two airheads. Excitedly they thank me “oh! two airheads! thank you!” I wish them a happy Halloween and off they go. Right behind them is Dad pulling his youngest in a radio flyer wagon. I notice the child is propped up against a cooler, “gah goo gah”, his attempt at “trick-or-treat” I hand him a couple pieces. This is when I notice that dad, one hand on the radio flyer handle and the other on a can of Tecate, in a beer cozy of course. BING! the math occurs. This dude is walking his kids around with a beer in his hand and a cooler in the wagon! Now I am gonna go out on a limb here and say that this guy has a drinking problem. If you can’t take the kids trick-or-treating without booze you got issues. Trick-or-treat is for the children. A fun day for them to dress up, receive treats, laugh, play and just be children. It inhibits the children from being children when your drunk ass is staggering to keep the wagon straight on the sidewalk.
Floating an air biscuit – Paid in full… October 31, 2006Posted by Woody in Uncategorized.
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Some of you may recall me making statements in the past about the humor in the occasional thunder flutter while running on the treadmill. How I would giggle to myself while sharing my chemical warfare with others at the gym. Well, I received some serious payback during my run last night. I was running five miles (about an hour run) and a nice young lady starts her walk on the treadmill next to me. She yapps with her friend a while and as she nears her workout she blows the Sphincter Whistle like it’s never been blown before. This lady sent a message from the interior minister that was loud and clear. It was a room clearer that any man would be proud to have claimed as his own. North Korea would raise a white flag and destroyed its weapons of mass destruction to avoid being hit again.
I was speechless, only cause I had to cover my face with my shirt as to not vomit!
I wanted to further paint this picture for you by sharing what I believe is her personal ad below:
I will be sure to avoid running next to Ms. Flaming Cornhole in future runs at the gym.
Outsourcing Taxes – A Rant about Intuit October 30, 2006Posted by Woody in Uncategorized.
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Now you have got to be kidding me!
Today my wife discovers an unauthorized charge on our bank account. It is Intuit. Apparently insisting we purchase the next version of Turbo Tax. I login to Intuit’s Turbo Tax site and wow look here something I never signed up for. “Automatic Renewal”. Ok so for anyone who may be questioning it. NO I AM NOT STUPID. I did not signup for something I was “unaware of”. This is some BS that intuit apparently put in place between last tax season and now and hooked me up with an unauthorized charge.
So there I was completely irritated about this charge. No notice, no email, no phone call just a charge for 80 bones.
The phone call – I give intuit a call to get them to own up to their bs. Hmmmm.. .imaging that the automated system tells me to expect an hour wait due to “high call volume”. Apparently they are swamped with people calling in to discuss the unauthorized charges on their account. 45 mins later the hold music stops and all I have is dead air. Oh no you don’t! I am not falling for that trick! I am staying on the phone till you either hang up on me or talk. Five minutes later I begin to hear the occasional typing and background noise. Now she’s taken me off mute. “Hello, Hello, I can hear you so I know your there!”. “Hel-o, I’d like to be thanking you for calling in-to-it, my name is Sarah”. UNBELIEVABLE! I am calling a TAX SOFTWARE COMPANY and being routed to INDIA!!!
This is getting out of hand. I’ve got my mortgage companies, internet providers, my American made Computer, and now my U.S Tax software being outsourced to India. What is next the IRS outsourcing to India? I got it lets take voting to the web. Then we can outsource the web services to an Indian datacenter. If we can trust to send out our mortgages, support and tax information outside the country then why not put the presidental, congressional and senate voting processes in their hands as well.
Back to “Sarah”. I called her out on the whole “dead air” she finally decided to speak, I tell her the situation how I recieved no notification of a charge, pending charge or made any order to purchase software from intuit. I went to Intuit’s support site durning my wait and there discover this “automatic renew” that your automatically a part of regardless of your desire to be or not. I cancel the auto renewal online and note that Intuit clearly states on their site. “You’ll always receive notification before your order is processed, and you can modify your order or cancel your automatic renewal at any time. In addition, the TurboTax Automatic Renewal Plan ensures you’ll receive the extra rewards reserved for valued direct customers. ”
“Sarah” cancels the pending order, tells me that the charge will fall off in twenty four hours, although my bank holds it for 3 days. (At least when I called the bank I wasn’t routed to India) “Sarah” then tells me that I will receive a survey in email that she would like me to take in regard to the service I received today. LOL You bet “Sarah” I would love to take that survey!
To clarify my position, I do not wish to come off as some arrogant racist. I am not racist. I understand the corporate world and that outsourcing is cost effective. However, corporations are sacrificing customer service in lieu of lower expense. They are trusting third world nations with our private information. We can have employees in these countries sign disclosure agreements in order to attempt to keep our private data private. However, is the judicial system in these countries going to keep these people honest? I am sure we have the occasional U.S employee that steals customer data, however when it occurs the companies prosecute the employee. Again I don’t want to say that U.S employees are going to have more integrity then those in other countries. I guess I just feel a little more comfortable with my personal data going to a U.S based criminal then I do one based in another country.
Maybe “Sarah” is my reader from India….
The Survey – So I received the ‘important email’ from intuit in regard to taking the survey! Oh I am soooooooooo there!
I think the last screen shot says it all! They have already received enough complaints about the way intuit is doing business this year and therefor we will cut your survey short! LMAO
Silent Running October 28, 2006Posted by Woody in Uncategorized.
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When I left the house this morning it was 32 degrees (26 in the windchill), I thought to myself how this was going to be the coldest day I have ever ran in, and it was. Today, however, was the best run I think I have ever experienced. The accomplishment pieces; completing 250 cumulative miles since my training began, exceeding 35 miles this week, 16 miles, and not that I am counting but 116 days smoke free.
The pieces of today’s experience is not what made it the best run I have experienced. What set today apart from the rest was my setting aside self for today. Most of my running thus far has included concentration on breathing, concern for what’s going on around me (a busy path), what my heart rate is at, what my time is looking like. Try as I may I never really let these things go during the run before today. Today, I just ran. Ran for the pleasure of enjoying this beautiful city we live in. I really didn’t realize how beautiful this place is. Not until I opened my eyes, ears and closed my mind to the thoughts that plague us all, distractions of our “to do” list, work left unfinished at work, bills we have to pay, just to name a few. I am not sure why today is different, but, finally, I was able to let everything else go and just run, run and enjoy this beautiful place God created. Maybe it was because I took a slightly different path. This one not full of traffic, this path, quiet. I ran for enjoyment, I ran silent.
Fog rising from the river
Smoke flowing from a chimney
The sun breaking the crest of the sandia mountains
Balloons gathered together, the volcanos in the backdrop
Ducks in a perfect V flying south
To name just a few of the things I would have missed had I not listened. I hope that on my next long run I can let go and listen again.
Governor Bill Richardson Running for President? October 27, 2006Posted by Woody in Uncategorized.
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Yep! I’m doing it! I am writing a political post. What prompted me to write this morning was hearing about Governor Bill Richardson’s latest idea. That he’d go on a diet. Don’t get me wrong, he needs it! Just take a look at him when he filmed his “western”, what I like to call the “really I am doing a good job” commercial. I particularly like this commercial due to the simple fact that someone let him go on camera with a cowboy hat that was entirely too small for that big ass head of his! LOL I mean they shouldda just stuck a piece of shit on his forehead and called it a day!
What drives me nuts about this guy is that he throws out ad’s like this. Like he is some hotshot “lawman” meanwhile he’s out getting speeding tickets in his Lincoln Navigator. Reports have it that Richardson was clocked more then once at a hundred plus! Well, while your at it Bill why don’t you spend $5.5 million on a private jet with leather seats and a wet bar. Oh, that’s right you already did. I don’t want to give the impression that I am some self righteous person who doesn’t speed. I’ve been known to get the occasional speeding ticket and the Mayor’s redlight cam got me in a hurry to work. BTW thanks Marty! You can stuff that hundy where the sun doesn’t shine. I hope that guy gets caught by his own damn cameras.
Now I don’t want to completely bash the guy, that’s what I’ve been doing so far. But dude stop lying! It’s driving us up a damn wall. Billy you’ve said publicly several times that you won’t be running for president. Yet your spending quite a bit of time on the east coast lately. Now, talks of dieting, why? don’t want to lose votes due to that big ass gut you got hangin over that belt? Or concern for the unwritten policies regarding the health of the president? Politics are politics and for some reason people in these positions always feed us shit. Although we will kick and scream about it they will continue to stroke the public for pennies and votes. Richardson has done some good for New Mexico. But not without wasting funds. He’s not the best guy around but surely not the worst. It feels like in the past few elections regarding local politics it has come down to the lessor of two evils gets the vote.
So, bottom line Billy boy, if you wanna run for president go for it. Just tell the people of your state that it is your intention to do so. I agree you do need a diet, come workout with me we’ll get that fat ass in shape. Fire that guy who told you your cowboy hat fit. He made you look like a fool.
And the final note. If I wanted to waste my presidential vote on someone who’s track record was about lying about whether or not he was actually going to run for the presidency, I might as well vote for Hugo Chávez or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
Knock Knock, who dere, peas October 26, 2006Posted by Woody in Uncategorized.
ROFLMAO this is classic!
Perfect Date Dating Service – Bobby Butronics
Inspirational October 24, 2006Posted by Woody in Uncategorized.
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in‧spire [in-spahyuhr] verb, -spired, -spir‧ing.
–verb (used with object)
|1.||to produce or arouse (a feeling, thought, etc.): to inspire confidence in others.|
|2.||to fill or affect with a specified feeling, thought, etc.: to inspire a person with distrust.|
|3.||to influence or impel: Competition inspired her to greater efforts.|
So you may be wondering why I pasted the dictionary entry for inspire in this blog. Inspirational, twice today I have had someone tell me that I was inspirational. Most of the day I have been unable to remove from my mind Greg’s words. “I read how your training for the marathon and you are my inspiration, you have and do inspire me to continue my training, to achieve my goal.” And this evening while running at the gym, I kissed a frog, so to speak. A nice lady, late 50’s to early 60’s on the treadmill next to me. She was unrelenting in her walk. I simply gave a few encouraging words (kissed the frog). I believe it inspired her continue to work hard and remove the negative thoughts in her head that were clearly affecting her stride. It got us to talking and I shared my story. Her words “Your an inspiration to us all”. WOW! Powerful are those words when they are spoken in reference to you. In all this training, self-talk, motivation, dedication, internal locus of control, relaxation techniques, concentration and constant prayer, I never once thought that I could possibly be an inspiration to others. To instigate thoughts and or feelings of such a positive nature is in itself an awesome experience. let’s face it, when your an over wieght smoker who doesn’t get any exercise you are not inspiring to anyone or anything.
So to you Greg and to you well aged lady with the heart of a lion, Thank you, Thank you for allowing me to be your inspiration. Today’s experience has given me further motivation, to continue to see this trainging through to fruition. To do what it takes to make sure that jersey is on my back when I run that marathon.